I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
