I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
