You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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