Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
