The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
