i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
