saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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