the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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