im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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