So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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