That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
farters have to be the big spoon...
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize