u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
