Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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