His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
