woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
