just survived the first fart of the relationship.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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