At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
