If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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