hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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