Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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