How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
