Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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