There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
