You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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