he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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