shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
