The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
