a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It's shark week go big or go home
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
