Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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