Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
