If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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