I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
