id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
