accomplished twins. life is a go
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
How naked do you want me to be?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
