Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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