it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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