The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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