I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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