Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
