Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
