It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
