he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize