FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Little spoons don't ask big questions
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
