My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
