Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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