Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
