i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
