I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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