Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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