I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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