My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize