Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
