Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
if only i could text you this smell
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
