who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
