You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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