home. puking in laundry basket.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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