if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
