How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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