Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize