just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
only if we run a train.
done.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
